When I graduated from university, I moved into an apartment with my friend’s sister. Gretchen and I lived together for a year, but that was enough to start a life-long friendship.
When I was backpacking through southeast Asia, I volunteered at an animal sanctuary in Thailand. I gravitated toward the dogs because caring from them was actually a lot more fun than shoveling giant piles of elephant poop. Megan and I spent an afternoon trying to put bedding in the kennels without letting the dogs out. We met up in Laos a couple weeks later and have been best buddies ever since.
Gretchen lives in Connecticut. Megan lives in Washington. I lived in Texas. We were the definition of so close… yet so far away.
Long-distance relationships don’t have to be romantic for them to be important.
Ladies, these friendships are precious! Fun, supportive, caring, inspiring women are a gift— and not everyone can even claim one. They’re definitely worth the effort of maintaining a connection across the miles.
Nurture the faraway connections that live in your heart.
6 Ways to Keep Your Long-Distance Friendships Strong
Have “connection conversations.”
It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day: How’s work? What did you do last weekend? How are the kids? What are you cooking for dinner?
These topics are interesting and relevant, but they don’t forge strong connections. To do that, you need to talk about matters closer to the heart: What’s on your mind these days? What’s going well in your life? What’s worrying you lately? Any new dreams or desires?
Find the time and space to sit down and have a true heart-to-heart.
Have date nights.
Megan and I have sat down for dinner together and chatted just like we were sitting at the same table. We’ve also poured ourselves a glass of wine and enjoyed happy hour together.
Here are some other date night ideas:
- Watch a movie together (use the Netflix Party Chrome Extension). You can both get pizza delivered or cozy up with your own pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (because who wants to share that, anyway).
- Cook the same recipe or bake the same dessert and enjoy together.
- Set up Facetime in your craft room/art space and get creative together.
- Virtually visit a museum and critique art. Check out 12 Famous Museums that offer virtual tours. (I like this list because it contains museums in many different countries, so it feels like traveling!)
- Do some online shopping at the same store. You don’t even have to buy— you can just fill your dream shopping cart. (I like Poshmark because it’s like an online thrift store, but a brand store, like Free People or Anthropologie, would be easier to explore together.)
Walk and talk.
One of my personal favorites, I love putting in my earbuds and chatting with a friend while walking around the neighborhood. It’s a triple win— you’re getting outside, moving your body, and engaged in conversation.
Send cards and love letters and more.
I’m guaranteed to smile when I’m surprised with a heartfelt card in the mail. Especially the ones that show up for no reason other than I’m loved. It’s a really good feeling.
You can get creative with this. Send a homemade card. Write a note on the back of a local postcard— or customize a postcard with a photo of the two of you. Compose a poem on a heart and then cut it into a puzzle for your friend to put together.
Here are some other creative deliveries:
- Bake some cookies and get 2-3 day delivery. Drop cookies work the best for shipping. (Spiced or candied nuts are also good for delivery.)
- Send a pillbox designed for one week, and fill it with seven days of love notes. Bonus for adding candy or trinkets.
- Mail a box full of sunshine. Think YELLOW. Check out this site for some printable notes.
- Send a cake in a jar. (Someone please send me one of these.)
- Make fortune cookies with personalized notes inside. (This would be really fun for someone graduating college or embarking on a new adventure.)
- Create a spa package and plan a spa day together. (This one’s pretty elaborate, but it can at least spark some ideas.)
- Send a coloring book— and get one for yourself, too— so you can color while you’re chatting on the phone.
- If you have any international friends, send each other care packages with local items (hell, that would probably work if you live in different parts of a country).
Start a project together.
Megan and I have a gratitude journal that we keep together on a Google Doc. Gretchen and I share a photo album that we take turns mailing back and forth, each time adding a photo and a little blurb about it.
Here are some other project ideas:
- Create a collaborative art journal— I think I’ll see if a friend wants to start this! Here’s inspiration for a journal with a few people.
- Learn together through an online course. Megan and I just started Yale’s most popular course, The Science of Well-being— it’s FREE on Coursera. There’s an online course for any interest— Udemy and MasterClass are other online learning platforms.
- Take an art class— and send each other the finished piece. Kelly Rae Roberts is one of my favorite artists, and for a short time (while we’re all in quarantine), she’s bringing her ecourses out of retirement.
Form a book club.
When I lived in Colombia, Megan and I had a monthly book club. It was pretty simple: we’d choose a book, read it, and talk about it. A book club can easily be expanded to include several friends using Zoom. And it might be a neat way of introducing some of your favorite people to each other!
Take care of your long-distance friendships— and they’ll take care of you.
Hopefully some of these ideas sound fun for you or spark some of your own ideas! And if you still find yourself feeling lonely because your friends are far away, here are some ideas for dealing with loneliness.
Hey there, fellow free spirit!
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